Sometimes, it gets hard to remind myself to be contented with just how far I've come. Yep, here's that once in a while post while I rant a bit and forget about it till the next time the mood strikes right again.
It's not going to be a rant this time; it's just me feeling a bit/quite a bit melancholic. I'm proud of how far I've come, yep, and I've made a few friends with some of my readers, who actually regularly posted comments. True, they come and go, but I'm happy that they even bothered at one point of time. But sometimes, even when I know that I've improved, I've gained more readers, I've hopefully gained more popularity, it still makes me sad to know that I'm not there at all. My improvement takes many months, while others probably leap a few hundreds or even thousands in a few. It most probably doesn't ring true when any of us drama bloggers say that we don't care about our statistics. Yeah, some of us check once in a while (me), some of us check every hour, but the point is, most of us do care very much about how well our drama sites are doing…and the only way you can tell are from stats! (which I've realised, can be misleading too. I mean, everyone has a different setting as to how many hours it takes between each pageload for each visitor to be counted as a unique again, and that can drastically changed your stats).
So I don't really know exactly what's the point of my melancholy. I think, I just feel a bit sad, you know, simply sad, no other flowery language like depressed or dejected or a heavy heart, that I won't reach there, and I probably never will. Lack Of Time is simply too great a barrier for me to cross. Not going to tell you guys how old I am, but I'm still a student and worse, what will happen to this when I start working? Or when workload just gets crazy?
Nevertheless, I'm happy that this kind of weird-ish moods strikes only once in a blue moon. In the past few months, I'm definitely happier writing what I truly love to watch, and sharing with you guys. I write to entertain myself and you, to place the enjoyment of dramas and books down into words, and to make them last forever. I don't write to get viewers, and I hope I can hold on to that conviction right till the very end. (:
Wow it's long, my rant. Sometimes I feel childish for posting such rants:P